I really have no idea what to say right now. I'm sure this will be a string of random thoughts.
I am not sure if I am going to get much sleep tonight, so I might as well write one more time before I begin galavanting around the world. (wow, the world. breathe)
The last few days have been incredible. Definitely a roller coaster of emotions, but absolutely beautiful. I feel like I have learned so much just in this last week, but something that has really been on my heart is the church and how beautiful it is that we are the church and how beautiful it can be if we really commit to allowing Christ to fight for us and commit to fighting for each other. There have been tons of great moments and flashes of memories that I can see in my head right now that I absolutely loved from the past few days.
Dinner with friends.
Dripping sweat playing ball with people I love.
Laughing at random youtube videos to all hours of the night.
Chair and coffee outside.
My grandmas hugs.
My grandpas tears.
Hanging out on the porch with dad.
Pedicures and conversations with mom.
Holding my nieces.
Fighting with my brother.
Texts, messages, emails and cards of encouragement.
Photos.
And tons more.
But the most sweetest and beautiful moments that I have been honored to take part in is in the very moments that I have spent in prayer with friends and family.
Picture this: 15-20 or so college kids on a friday night. Around 11pm or so. Crowded closely together. Holding hands, hugging...In the middle of Canyon, Texas. Praying! Praying one by one straight truth from God's word. Praying with love, passion and desperation. Praying by the spirit.
AGH! It gets me so hyped to think about!!! I was honored to be surrounded by so many people who love Christ and are for Christ, sitting there talking to our father. It was hands down the most beautiful thing that I have ever been a part of!!! That night at dinner I was very anxious, restless and almost sick to my stomach thinking about everything, but the second we sat in that office praying together as the church, all the anxiousness, worry, doubt, inadequacy and whatever else weighing me down was lifted and replaced with the spirit of the Lord.
Soon after that I was on my knees with a sister in Christ pleading for our God to move in our friends, families and each others lives. A couple days after that I stood at the front of the church as my family laid their hands on me and prayed for protection and comfort. And a day after that I paced up and down my sidewalk outside my house as a friend and I prayed over the phone.
In these moments is where I felt most safe. Safe to step up by stepping out. So many people have made comments about how crazy and brave I was for flying across the world and leaving family and friends behind.
But it isn't me.
I am nervous of whether I am going to be able to walk on to that plane without passing out first. I am worried about everyone I am leaving behind and if they're going to be ok or not.
The bravery and confidence is Christ in me.
The bravery and confidence is knowing that I have my God fighting for me. I have a church of believers fighting for me in prayer and in prayer I am fighting for all those people I am "leaving behind", by going to the throne of the God who can not be stopped. Now that is beautiful. That even though we may not see each other, hear each other or be able to hug each other I am able to stand with the same mind of every believer and fight for the beauty of the cross. To glorify him and make his name known!
I know lot of people are nervous and worried for me and to that, I say take it to the Lord friends =) There is no doubt in my mind that every single detail of this Journey to Germany has been orchestrated for me, by him, before time even existed. He has opened doors and I have walked through them just as he has predestined. He knows when I sit and lie down. He knows my words before they leave my mouth. He knows the desires of my heart. Without a doubt I am supposed to be going to Germany and leaving my comfort behind for 6 months. Without a doubt he is asking you in one way or another to step up and step out for him. And I've learned that their is no better safety than laying it all down for him.
I pray that through me He is glorified. I have a big God and I am expecting him to do big things through me in Germany. Big things at WT. Big things in my family. All for his glory!
No te precupres. He's got this.
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
-Ephesians 3:20-21
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